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Записи с темой: am i a student or fucken terrorist??? (список заголовков)
22:42 

interestnoe

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
Sizhu v biblioteke pered oknom a tam dlya menya predstavlenie: paren' kuvyrkaetsya po vsyakomu, hardcore par cure bitches!!!! Vyglyadi vobshe pizdato - Rajon 13 i Yamakasi otdyhajut. I sam mal'chik milashka.... ah uchis' Taaaaaash!!

@музыка: Scorpions - Holiday

@темы: "Tash is such a whimpering kid", I wrote it instead of going to the gym, am i a student or fucken terrorist???, crawling through time

08:41 

wooohoooo and wind

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
92% for Psychology! yaya

Like the best score i got in this university so far! And didn't even study for this exam! -Who's the genius? - I'm the genius!

Ok of course I'm exaggerating but still... And that after I SUCKED the quiz for Theater after I actually (first time) read the play! That was disappointing! So we're keeping the balance right now.

What else, what else...? Oh Sandy! A bit of the surprize cuz I had no idea something like that is happening until got a text from my mom who was worried about it. I'm like "mom it's always windy in here, no difference!" But on the actual East coast it seems to be a big deal. South is used to that kind of crap but rich kids from Jersey are probably shocked now. "No wifi - catastrophe" the most common joke right now. For me everything that is killing American economy is bad cuz I'm basically feeding on money of its tax-payers. Go fuck yourself home, Sandy - you're drunk!!!!!

@музыка: ebannyj ipod nakrylysya arghhhh

@настроение: about to puke. literally

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???, going back West, playing smart

00:06 

halloween in Chi-town

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
So, after I was crying about my boring life for two month - hallelujah! - we went out. And went out not just in the club but some crazy-ass-fancy-place, even two. Fake IDs, face control, entrance fee, and still one of the girls had to know the guy so they let us in. I wouldn't say it wasn't fun but at the same time kind of awkward. I'm not a big fan of going out with a people i see first time in my life, although they are pretty cool. May be too. And also I didn't drink enough. Well at least it didn't affect me. One more thing: I am tired of being big, not cute girl. Always among, for example, me and my tiny teammate, guys would always start to talk with her. ALWAYS! Whatever bullshit she say - it's all cute and funny. I just can't be like this. It is not questionable that tiny big boobs chicks would get their portion of attention but not every time, everywhere with everyone!!!!! There are should be some exclusions! Otherwise I have no idea what to do. And it's not like I'm a completely ugly girl or a total fat-ass (although I would drop like 5 kilos) or a hike - no, definitely not so bad. But I feel like somebody cursed me. At least after moving to Chicago. Males completely ignore me all the time, and it is so tough to get used to it. No I don't want to get used to it!!!! Finding an ugly girlfriend to go out with her is not an option too and never was. May be it's just a virus or smth called "Unsociolism" that I've got?...

However, I'm glad I went out, I'm glad I met those people even if we didn't really get along with each other it still was fun. I missed dancing.

@музыка: Somebody that I used to know (club remx)

@настроение: NOT a hangover :(

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???, "Tash is such a whimpering kid", fse f sad

08:04 

i'll do anything to postpone the studying

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
interesting but i feel like writing today. may be because i'm still in the mood after that Cloud Nine paper I wrote. really good production actually. big time sexual and especially homosexual. honestly cannot imagine seeing something like this in Russia in the free access. guys on the stage where actually kissing and pretending to have sex. couple Arab dudes who where sitting in front of me were seriously shocked: seems like they had zero idea about the play before they saw it. hope i gonna get a decent grade for the paper at least

so today i dreamed about Borya. the thing's even more incredible cuz I rare have dreams and especially dreams about the real people. what happened is we were somewhere on the south, deserty place, with some folks who supposed to be my friends but didn't seem like that at all. it was a lot of drinking, a lot of sun, sand and sea, and I was disgust and happy at the same time. and then at some point Borya says "well we cannot hock up right now. you had to be my girlfriend before when I was hitting on you but now it is too late". and I am standing there trying to explain him that i didn't want to: neither before nor now but he's not listening to me. finally i feel stupid when all the guys get to know that i am into Borya when i am not. this is like the most clear dream i had in a while, like a year or so. definitely should mean something. really hope not gonna dream about Andy

what else, what else... it is incredible how sober i am in the moment.. didn't have a drink in 2 month and the last one i had was a beer. heard from mom that alcohol is killing neurons this woman is full of weird facts from the unapproved souses and that smart people are not drinking at all. well soon i'll turn up to be a real genius:duma:

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

05:52 

life strikes again

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
fuck fuck fuck am i ever will have a chance to have fun???!!! EVER???????

seems like every time i want to go out or do something there is assignment or exam or tournament or practice.... NO BUT SERIOUSLY WHY? if i'm not enjoying my life now, when then? at the age of 80 during the retirement? perfect!

ok the latest update: had a concert on Wednesday, bought tickets a month ahead, wanted to go with friends. One day before the concert getting a text from my coach assistant says that we are leaving on Wednesday night! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? i was waiting for this event for so long, probably the last thing that helped me to deal with all this crap and now... i'm just totally doomed. and I have no idea how will i handle these 2 month of the semester that are left.

that's interesting that i'm writing everything to the diary only. there is now way i'm going to post it somewhere else but here cuz i don't want people to know how bad i am feeling. 99% of my "friends" will be happy about it. people like to watch other suffering, so do I. and you know what's the best part - i'll get over it, as i always do. there is no way i can back up right now. it's all bullshit that we are free persons, can choose our path bla-bla-bla.... no. whatever you choose once, you have to stuck with it otherwise - failer. not always of course but it's just proving my point.

btw i'm really into "Lie to me" show. main character is so hot (Tim Roth)! some guys have to become old to be hot. and i'm slowly realizing that i like "sugardaddys". too bad. means to find myself a proper man i have to live in this world without one for at least 10 years more.

well guess what? have to go back to study now. what a surprise.

oh and one more thing: i talked to the academic adviser today and he said in the best case only about 40 credits of mine are transferring. and I need 128... it is a disaster:hang:

@музыка: Blue October - Ugly Side

@настроение: do you still want to ask???

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

10:01 

нытье

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
vse nadoelo! vse eti bezkonechnye razgovory o gluboko vnutrennem mire, unikalnosti i ume - BULLSHIT! bullshit predumannyj nenuzhnymu nikomu devkami! nu i chto chto von tu suku vse ljubyat - zato ya blin lichnost'! nahuj vsem sdalas' tvoya lichnost', tvoi uvlecheniya i t.d. U menya uzhe net sil nosit' rozovye ochki - nado prosto prinyat' i uspokoitsya. obtyanytaya zhopa i siski na rastopyrku vsegda pereb'jut samyj luchshij so vkusom podobrannyj naryad; hihikan'ya i dealogi v stile DOM 2 namnogo interesnej disskusii o tvorchestve Pixey; devchachie uzhimki i piski mily a zhelanie pomoch pochenit' velik pochti prestuplenie! YA TAK NE MOGU! POCHEMU NE BUDUCHI LUSBIYANKOJ YA VYNUZHDENA KAZHDYJ DEN' STALKIVAT'SYA SO VSEM ETIM!!!! inogda mne hochetsya prosto vyrezat' levoe polusharie mozga i tozhe radovat'sya shenochkam, "tomu hot-hot-hot parnju iz 3 metra", i flirtovat' so vsemi podryad! zachem mne vobshe eta golova esli ot nee odni nepriyatnosti??????
eto kakoj to ad i nikakogo prosveta... pochemu v etom parshivom mire esli tee nuzhen uspeh ty dolzhen byt' extrovertom???? da ya blyad' hochu vsporot' zhivot 90% ljudej vokug i mne srat' na to "what's your major and which music are you listening to"! people are just incredibly stupid but i belive there are several who are fine but FUCK I AM NEVER GONNA FIND THEM CUZ I'M FUCKING ITERVERT!!!!! how many times i tried to tell myself "fuck all of them Tash - live your life, you don't need anybody". but apperently i do! i can't live in civiliation and dont talk to anybody. on the island - you're welcome; Chicago - forget it. and actually i kind of want somebody to care about me, a person i can rely on but FOR ME IT IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ONE! it sounds like a time for suicide? yea but i like to exist to much to end it with my own hands, and I still have a tiny little hope that some day (yea in fucking 50 years) i'll find somebody. yea it's like a chance to win a National lottery - theoretically you can do it; you even can start planning where you gonna spend all those money (as one of my idiot friends does) but you NEVER-MOTHERFUCKING-EVER GONNA WIN IT! and there is noothing funny about this whole situation. sometimes i just want go on the street and start cutting people untill they will put me in a jail and exicute. at least that would be fun.

also i hate how all those soft-hearted cunts care about children in Africa, enviroment, blue wheles and all that crap, particulary hate those kids in Africa. why the hell i need to care about them and feed them? let them die or better kill them if you wanna be humanistic. and kill every nigga that raped sold drugs or kill somebody (you know when i was writing the word "nigga" i was thinking should i do it or should i not! THAT'S WHAT THEY DID TO ME! I CAN'T EVEN CALL NIGER A NEGER CUZ IT UNPOLITE! FUCK YOU AND YOUR DIVERSITY CRAP! i don't wannna be a nazi intentially cuz i hate everybody in general but if you know that all those negro-black shit is commiting 90% of all crimes in US and you still say that we are all equal???????? what are you, a genius?!!! and the worst thing that everyday i have to meet all of this in my life. everywhere i go it;s either some social comercial or aggitation or smth which is hipnotizing me and forcing to give them EVEN MORE RIGHTS EVEN MORE AGVANTAGES BECAUSE THEY WERE SLAVES 150 YEARS AGO??????????????? WHAT? Russians slavary was canceled in the same year with americans and guess what: USA had slaves from another continent which were muchmuchmuchmuch lower developed mentaly than their masters; in Russia they used RUSSIAN PEOPLE AS SLAVES! THAT IS BAD NOT YOUS FUCKEN "AFROAMERICAN EXPERIENCE"! and by the way descendants of those "poor-poor slaves" right now are driving Camarro's and smocking weet with bithces when their "free fathers" in Africa are dying!!!!!! oh why humans are so stupid?

seriously how the humanity still didn't destroy itself when 99% of the populations are living eat-sleep-fuck life and 1% are fucking bastards? no i'm pretty sure i will have a pleasure to see this civilization dying. and that's the only thing that cheers me up right now. and before that moment i want to live a high quality life and longer than anybody else so i can see them dying in agony.

p.s. seems like the only place i can be truly honest (except an everyday-conferences in my head) is this lame diary, which nobody is reading. and conversations with Di. but ever with her i probably seem more positive than i actually am.

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

18:01 

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN


vot byvajut zhe mal'chiki... ne valit' i trahat' no naslozhdat'sya!

@музыка: Nirvana – Rape Me

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

23:46 

inogda ya uvazhaju shtaty

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
v nashem zamechatel'nom univere ty mozhesh izuchat' vse chto dushen'ke ugodno v tom chesle i:

Intro to Suicidology Course- Register Today! (teoreticheski eto ssylka na kotoruju nado klikat' chto by registrirovat'sya)

:five:

@музыка: Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood

@настроение: finished finals!

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

00:07 

mazhor

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
vchera nochju ya vodila infinity s mehanikoj za 80 000 amerikanskih prezidentov... yae bady, love this life :super:

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

01:35 

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
u vas ne byvalo takogo chto vrede vse delaesh pravil'no: ne halturish ni kogo ne podstavlyaesh, kak govoryat amerikantsy doing your best a ljudi vse ravno na tebya naezzhajut, prichem vse i srazu. no esche poganee chto u teh tvarej kotorye vse perechislennoe ne delajut vse v shokolade. vozmozhno vse eto vyglyadit kak soplivye zhaloby na zhizn' no ya prosto uzhe ne mogu terpet'. mozhet chto by vse naladilos' mne prosto nado stat' suchkoj kak vse????? v lubom slushae esche raz i navsegda ubezhdajus' chto pravda vsegda toll'ko vredit i nado ochen' tshatel'no vybirat' komu ee govorit'...


P.S. no samyj otstoj chto ya dezhe ne mogu napit'sya s gorya potomu chto esche poltora goda mne tut nikto ne budet nalivat' :budo:

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

21:30 

кто после этого не умрет тот мужик... голый мужик

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
06:56 

I don't want this week to finish. evAr!!!

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
The point why Im doing this shit right now is because this stupid diary servis wants to kick me out from the active users or something. So while I need to do this note let me tell a little bit about Louisiana.

At very first I was so pissed when realised that we are playing on the spring break week. Cuz almost all my friends and just guys with whom I'm hanging out sometimes wanted to go somewhere on the south and particular in Miami. So I thought my break was ruined, however that was much much better than I expected. No that was HELLIRIOUS!!! We went (we I mean me, my fucking tennis team and my coaches) to Louisiana first in New Orleans and then in the universities in the middle of nowhere. But New Orleans... hell it is fucking amazing!!! I've never seen something like this and sure that this city is unic. Ok not whole city but French quoter. It is hard to explain but its tiny stinky streets with one-two-three floors houses, its music on the streets and of course jazz, its varies of cuisines (luckelly I didn't pay for my meals))), ghosts' stories and my favourite small shops where you can find everything connecting with death. In fact this place has just a cult of death and this is the most charming stuff I've ever seen (Dir en Grey videos does not count). I' not the best story teller ever but just belive me that you would never forget this atmosphere!

Oh also, excluding New Orleans, I had three good matches and sun tan and bunch of unuseful but pleasant stuff. So I could be complitely happy if I shouldn't write two essays tomorrow and then go to school. Life still sucks. And happy to save my diary of course:vict:

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

04:19 

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
aaaa suuka pol chasa pisala zametku pro Washington a komp vse udalil!!!!!!!
koroche komu interesno - sozvonimsya

@музыка: kazahskij rep

@настроение: exaiting

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

04:17 

Washington DC, Mariland, U.S.

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
Как описать Питер в двух словах?..

Если коротко: Вашингтон не хуже, просто другой. На самом деле многие люди просто недооценивают Америку - ona vezde raznaya, a Washington tak vobshe nastoyashaya Europe. Vobshem-to net smysla vopit' o krasote goroda pytayas' opisat' ego v dvuh slovah. Tak chto prosto poverte naslovo. A luchshe prover'te. Dazhe ftki tut ne ochen' pomogut.

Kstati post na dvuh yazykah potomu chto pervuju polovinu mne dal napoisat' mal'chik, no bylo uzhe 3 nochi a v 7 30 nado bylo vstavat' i idti v Capitolij. Malen'kij epizod vmesto dlinnogo opisaniya.

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

05:10 

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
Chej-to reshila spostit'. opyat' zhalovat'sya na zhizn' - zadralo. chtoby ponyat' nado pobyvat'. tak chto u menya vse puchkom i hvost pistoletom. ochen' hochu poehat' v Washington na eti vyhodnye. Bozhe Bozhe Bozhe pozhalyjsta hot' by udalos' :beg: :beg: :beg:

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

00:23 

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
a u menya bol'shaya radost': v nashej gruppe international students est' gej. i pohozhe ne odin. vchera ves' den' za nimi nabljudala i staralas' ne zakapat' krovavymi soplyami radosti majku. davno ne videla chego-to bolee milogo :inlove: :inlove: :inlove:

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

00:05 

new roommate

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
vchera vozvrashajus' vsya ustalaya i sonnaya s Niagary i zastaju svoju komnatu do potolka zavalenuju shmotkami. sredi hlam'ya nevozmutimo sidit devchushka v ochkah i chto-to nabivaet na laptope. moemu ustalomu organizmu ona srazu ne ponravilas'. devchushka okazalas' freshmanom (pervokursnik), is Ohio, izuchaet kakuju-to fignju svyazannuju s govoreniem, igraet na kakojto hreni pohozhej na trubu (tihie vechera mne uzhe obespecheny). eto vse chto udalos' is nee vytyanut'. so mnoj ona razgovarivala neohotno: toli ee spugnul moj prodvinutyj anglijskij, toli chernye prostyni i polnoe otsutstvie veshej. sama zhe ona pohzhe razobrala svoj domik v Ohio i po chastyam peretashila v nashu komnatu. holodil'nik, mikrovolnovka, printer, nereal'naya kucha korobok.... my poznakomilis' - pol dela sdelano. ostalos' podruzhitsya

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

03:20 

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
perechitala posy - ponyala chto 80% pro edu. nu kto o chem a vshyvyj o bane...

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

19:28 

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
ya hochy chtob yzhe nastypili yroki :fire:
tyt ot skyki vvesitsya mozhno :hang: vse syki mne obesh'ali "poiti tyda, poiti syda" a v itogi y kogo "za dokymentani nado" komy "v magazin". lzhivue tvari :depress: poshla delat' oryzhie massogogo porazheniya

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

03:40 

Я единственный нормальный человек на этой планете. А еще я пытался себя убить!©DJN
mne govoryat "ne rugaisya" prichem ne roditeli!!! ny kak eto vozmozgno gospoda horoshie :conf3:

@темы: am i a student or fucken terrorist???

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